Nostalgia Sucks

When I was 21, I had this beer and thought, “What is this fruit doing in this beer? This is weird, but I think I can drink lots of it!” I remember because I was actually in the Abita Brewery on a tour with my girlfriend and future in-laws. I still even have an Abita Turbo Dog T-shirt from that trip. So, for me, tasting this beer was a bit like opening a time capsule.

Its been 10 years. I’ve experienced much in the way of beer drinking. I’ve learned what a fruit beer is, how it’s made, etc. I’ve brewed my own beer. I’ve traveled abroad. I’ve camped with beer. I’ve had friends’ beer. I’ve crawled with beer. I’ve blind-tasted beer. I’ve cooked with beer. Suffice to say, I am a mountain of knowledge and experience when it comes to drinking and enjoying beer compared to 10 years ago. And, I can tell you, without hesitation, this beer sucks. It sucks real bad.

It’s vitaminwater. It inspires a questioning of masculinity and a desire to stand in the front yard or near a small dirty pool listening to hair bands (think Twisted Sister, not Guns N Roses). Heavily carbonated, short on flavor, weak on taste. This beer was designed in the best exemplification of our modern throwaway society. The only way to enjoy this beer is to drink it in huge quantities so that the next one you open will be the last one you remember.

Give this beer as a gift to someone who doesn’t like beer.

By The Crossbow Project

Architect, crossfitter, shortstop, backpacker, hopeless Royals fan, recipe following cook and intermittent armature beer brewer - Ryan lives to eat and eats to live. Beer he has learned is food, not drink. And in his case, has also learned that he always wants one too many...

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