I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.
Those eloquent words were delivered in customary deadpan fashion during S2:E8 of the NBC comedy-drama Parks and Recreation by the single greatest television character of all time, Ronald Ulysses Swanson, as played by Nick Offerman. From the time I first heard that line, I have considered Ron Swanson – despite his status as an entirely fictional personality – to be my Spirit Animal. I, too, have a strong affinity for good-looking brunettes. I’ve been married to a Sandra Bullock lookalike for 13 years now. I also love me some breakfast food. I mean, I’m really committed to voracious morning feasts. By way of example, I recently brought a double Belgian waffle maker on the 1000-mile trek to Central Pennsylvania because Eggo, as a sacrificial offering, is downright insulting to the autumnal Allegheny Mountains.
So when I was browsing the seasonal section at the Overland Park Lukas Liquor today, Renegade Brewing Pancakes Maple Porter shimmered at me like a spotlight cast upon Duke Silver himself. I had to try it. Pancakes Maple Porter poured dark brown (nearly black) into my nonick pint glass with a good inch of tan foam that dissipated pretty quickly. The dominant aroma was maple syrup and, if you really strain that fleshy thing that crests above your mustache, you get the fragrance of pancake batter. In the taste department, it is particularly roasty (even for a porter) with subtle chocolate and coffee notes camouflaged by the flavor of maple syrup and a rather restrained brown sugary sweetness. I was pleasantly surprised by its earthy hop bitterness, which provides a nice counterweight. The mouthfeel is really creamy, almost buttery which certainly jives with the breakfast vibe for which this Denver brewery is aiming. Lastly, at 6% ABV, woodworking remains a relatively safe hobby while enjoying this beer.
As Ron Swanson said, “GIVE ME ALL THE BACON AND EGGS YOU HAVE”. But, while you’re at it, I’ll take a Pancakes Maple Porter too.